Still Nervous After All These Years? (Good)
A few years ago, I was standing in a corridor outside a conference room, about two minutes before I was due to give a talk to 350 people.
I looked down at my notes and noticed that my hands were trembling. I couldn’t make them stop.
The trembling was one thing. What interested me afterwards was the thought that appeared with it, fully formed and entirely unkind:
You’re a psychologist. You teach this for a living. What is wrong with you? Get your $h!t together.
It was exactly the sort of thought I might have unpacked with a client that same morning. Yet there I was, being run by it in a corridor.
Knowing about a pattern, it turns out, offers surprisingly little protection from finding yourself inside it.
But nothing was wrong with me. And nothing is wrong with you when this happens either.
My brain had done what predictive brains do. It had surveyed the situation - a few hundred people, an uncertain outcome and something I cared deeply about getting right - and prepared my body to meet it.
The raised heart rate, narrowed attention and shaking hands were not signs that something was wrong. They were signs that my body understood this mattered and was getting ready to respond.
So I did what I would have suggested to anyone else.
I exhaled slowly. I felt my feet against the floor. And I whispered to myself (nodding as I spoke):
This is what being ready feels like.
Then I walked in, still nervous, and gave the talk.
The nerves never disappeared entirely. They didn’t need to. They were what I needed…
I’ve been thinking about that corridor while putting together something I want to share with you today.
It’s the guide I would have liked someone to hand me in that corridor.
Performing Under Pressure: Nine Tools from Performance Psychology
Inside, you’ll learn:
How to interpret nerves differently
How to unhook from spiralling “what if?” thoughts
A 60-second reset for the moment before you walk in
How to focus your attention on what will actually help
Recovering when something wobbles partway through
It is designed for interviews, presentations, important meetings and the conversations you’ve been rehearsing in the shower all week.
You can get it here:
And if someone came to mind while you were reading - someone with an interview, a pitch or a difficult conversation on the horizon - please do forward it to them.
These things have a habit of arriving at the right moment.
Warmly,
Matt
Dr Matt Slavin
Clinical & Performance Psychologist
Online · New Zealand · UK
